(ir)Retrieval

That _______ was born Melissa Dawn Tolbert December 24, 1974

to a woman named Jeannie Darline. That in this

we decorate almost. We mean (we relegate) we mean.

That the hopeful bearded face becomes a tyranny.

(That what we believe in is a form of refraction. The back turning

as a word, upon itself. Draping the neck into sound.) That there lies

a calloused form of predicate beneath the Rupaul.

That the body which is her body is a decency.

That we draw can(n)ons around permissible and rest.

That a book I received I then decided to return to you.

That I do not know forgiveness for the things we choose to leave.

That, like the after image given to a closed eye.

She is prologue. And simultaneous. She is domicile.

That this is not therefore. (salient.) That she bring.

She remembers that there are names, kinder names,

for the accidental bruising left by witness. And

sedulous in her canter these are illegible. With a mouth

full of tinder. and forget. With a hand, not a shade,

and a gleaning. That she may liquefy all outposts. and fall back.

That there is a causal born predisposed to a reachliness.

That there are fists with which my mouth has not met.

In what became known as The Topography

of Unrequited Laughter, You Fucking Suck, and The Pedagogue

of Sixth and Silhouette. It is not so much that transferable

is in the offering. (Although I am ungentle and

in between, dear Ramona.) That you come home

anyway. And bring the telephone of your liking.

That you block discreetly and settle spring between my mouth.

That we are a history. On a good day. A context. The path

of a paper airplane drawn optimistically about the edges

of a room. That my hands do still so little (grieving)

to listen to me. Usurpers of sleep and yet

their genius is temerity. That they memory

they memory they member. (non-consensual.) They member

they memory they rest. In this, they encourage

disparation. They gentle Hustler, Man 2 Man,

and Too Deep. (we are patching this in on film.)

That the bathroom is guileless in its obscurity. What we

reach for when placing a _______ in the mouth.

Do not hold your hands like a lift to me.

Lying just below the derivative of undertow. That they

are given twice as empty as sound.

It’s not silence I’m afraid of, it’s commodification.

(on peeing on, seeing on, Out.)

Masturbation’s just not the same without menstruation: what

with all the delectable injectables: where what’s obscure

outweighs antiquity: to obdurate cheekily: there’s little

that’s been improved here: he’s in and, clearly, she’s out.

Faux hawk □ (:when it all comes down to hegemony)

Chin stache □ (: i.e. and/or even the pathology of and/or)

White speak □ (: gephyromania is interminable and dis-ease)

Ellipses □ (make that a double check) (: with regard to virile mangos,

friends, and (more important) money: the subtextual consciousness of queer.)

I press curiously tender to your Arabia. (oh baby i)

My labia swell and Really. That’s so neat and all.

But it’s the rise of the dicklet we all cheer.

disappearing wheelbarrow, I wish you wheelbarrow.

the whiskey rash reel off the hand.

the ballyhorse leg is a spoonfall; applesauce

class in a round. hermeneutically sealed

in a braindrop (we are) fucking shit up

with insistence. the barrel chain bounty gives

ground. Mercedes! Mercedes! Despite the genuflect.

how much plow could really you land in a day.

despite the eyelids and the pants that fall

accordingly. despite Rothko, repatriation,

and the parallel. what will generous make

broken in the handoff. (we are) (tiny) a population

of peligro. despite the temperature and armistice of when.

(we are) rebar: for rent or for rain.

(So that there is at least one flag you will never know the weight of.)

(So that the chair has many permutations.)

(So that you move forward as if through a jump-rope.

The handles molesting your hands.)

(So that there are peepholes in which we are still lingering.)

(So that my tits are still tits in the summertime.)

(So that as long as I hold you I will continue to pour my hair out.)

(So that lack may not measure thickness, nor health, nor sound.)

That the body which is my body is a relevancy.

That the new body which is irrelevant is a test.

That there’s never been a man in the room. That,

were it not for one man fucking me back into existence,

I would have sworn to you that I thought I saw two.

That there are now tears in what was supposed to be

impermeable. That either way I am unable to be conceived.

That the body which is my body is indeterminately.

That there is little room for the tiny tufts of toilet paper.

That I will hold them in the verisimilitude I continuously

refer to as my chest. That this is somehow a demonstration

of bravery. That better models of logic are exemplified

by this drain. That erosion is what some still believe in philanthropy.

That this is a prayer shawl. That still we refuse to call her by her name.